One To Zero
by kenziestar
Summary: How is it possible to miss someone so much it hurts but had never even met them? ONE SHOT


**So I wrote this awhile back when I was going through some things.**

 **Its really angsty and sad. The song** **is** Gone _Too Soon by Daughtry._

 **Hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimers: I don't own the song or the characters.**

 **R &R**

K⭐

"How is it possible to miss someone so much it hurts and I had never even met them?" I say out loud as I pick up the pink and black striped zebra Frost bought for Ava.  
"I have been asking myself that same question since we left the hospital." I look up and see Jane leaning on the doorframe.  
"You're supposed to be resting Jane."  
"I couldn't. Every time I would move I would think about if laying this way will upset Ava then I remember- I remember that it doesn't matter anymore." She says, her voice breaking with the last words she speaks.  
"It's going to be okay. Time heals all wounds."  
"I feel like I'm having a heartattack everytime I think about her on when I pass this room. The room that should have been hers in two months." Jane says and I reach her just in time for her to fall in my arms. "All the money and the power that we have can't bring our baby girl back. She died inside of me Maura. Our daughter died in my womb because four years ago I was stupid and shot myself, it's my fault my womb was to hostile to carry our baby girl to full term. It's all my fault Maur."  
"No it's not my love. This would have happened if I was the one who chose to get have our baby. The umbilical cord detaching has nothing to do with what you have done in the past, there is no cause for it to happen. This is no one's fault. And if you need someone to blame, blame the doctor that instantiated you for not putting the embryo close enough to the vagianal wall."  
"Our little Ava is gone Maura."  
"I know. I know." I say pulling her tighter in my arms.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Jane?" I ask for the tenth time this morning.

"Maura I've been on leave for two months plus the three months I was on desk duty. Trust me I'm beyond ready." She says cupping my face in her hands kissing me softly just as our phones ring simultaneously.

"Rizzoli."

"Isles."

"Be there in twenty." She says and hangs up.

"I'm on my way." I say and hang up as well.

"After five years you'd think they just call one of us." She says clipping her gun and badge on as I get my medical bag.

"Well you get a call from the homicide division and I get called from the coroner's office. It's two different divisions." I say as we get in my car and head to the crime scene.

"What do we have."Jane asks when she comes back from patrolling the house.

"I don't know yet; though there is a bullet wound through her sternum. I would be guessing if I said that this bullet wound is what killed her, and we all know I do not guess." I say as the song on the radio changes.

 _Today could've been the day  
That you blow out your candles  
Make a wish as you close your eyes  
Today could've been the day  
Everybody was laughin'  
Instead I just sit here and cry  
Who would you be?  
What would you look like  
When you looked at me for the very first time?  
Today could've been the next day of the rest of your life_

I look back over to Jane and see she is completely frozen in her steps.

"Jane?"

"Why is it even on?" Jane says tilting her head, and I know she is trying to hide her tears.

"There is a pool of blood around it. No one was able to get close enough to turn it off."

 _Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose  
Such a ray of light we never knew  
Gone too soon, yeah_

"Maura turn it off." Jane says her voice full of unshed tears.

"I can't turn it off without tampering with evidence. Jane we can leave." I say as I pull of my gloves so I can take a hold of Jane's hands.

 _Would you have been president?  
Or a painter, an author or sing like your mother  
One thing is evident  
Would've given all I had_

As we make our way out side, away from prying eyes, the song can still be heard from were we stand; with Jane crying and shaking in my arms. _  
Would've loved ya like no other  
Who would you be?  
What would you look like?  
Would you have my smile and her eyes?  
Today could've been the next day of the rest of your life  
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose  
Such a ray of light we never knew  
Gone too soon, yeah  
Not a day goes by, oh  
I'm always asking why, oh  
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose  
Such a beautiful life we never knew  
Gone too soon  
You were gone too soon, yeah  
And not a day goes by_  
 _That I don't think of you_

"I thought I was ready Maura. I did I really did. But that damn song! And it's still playing! Did they put it on fucking repeat or something!?" Jane says as she stops pacing and stands in front of me.

"You were forcing yourself to be okay when you weren't. Music often helps brings our emotions to the surface; though that is not a scientific fact." I tell her and it some how causes her to break down further.

"I miss her Maura. I miss our little girl so much it hurts to breath when I think about her." Jane crys softly into my neck.

"I know honey. I feel the same way. But we are going to get through this together. I promise you that."


End file.
